Wednesday, August 28, 2013
My First Mommy Terror
I had my first moment of absolute terror as a mother tonight. It had been one of those days where I felt really exhausted and wanted to sleep desperately, but the baby won't fall asleep. I was hungry, because I had been trying to coax him to sleep for about two hours. Finally, I laid down next to him on the couch, nursing him until he was asleep. I got up and left him there while I stuck the now-very-crispy-and-dried-out toast in the microwave. I figured if I toasted it for the third time it wouldn't be edible anymore. Just as I opened the microwave to take it back out, I heard a little "thunk!" I turned to the source of the noise and saw my little boy (previously on the couch) on the floor. He had landed on top of our laptop. It took about two seconds for me to run and grab him off the floor. When I picked him up his face was frozen in a yelling expression. There was no noise coming out, but his face had turned bright red. His whole body seemed frozen and ridged. I was freaking out. I pulled him close to me and finally there was noise, but it didn't help me feel any better, because it was the worst sound I've ever heard. It was real screaming. Not the "I'm hungry/poopy/want to be held" scream. I paced back and forth for a few minutes trying to calm him down and when I finally pulled him away from me I saw a snotty, tear-smeared, drooly face that had left it's mark all over my shirt. It didn't take long for me to be distracted from this though as he had a mark on his forhead where he must have bumped it on the computer. I can't even describe how horrible I felt. When Kalyn came home from work about a half hour later I still felt so bad that when he looked in my face he could tell I was upset. I started crying and scooted close to him on the couch. That's when he saw our little guy's first wound. "What happened to his head?" I told him what happened and was given a few sweet words about how no harm was done, the baby was okay, and he wouldn't hate me. I still feel horrible, but I know he's right too. I suppose a lot of moms freak out like that when their babies get hurt. I'm sure I'll have to get used to kissing boo-boos since I have a little boy. I just have to learn to not cry every time he gets hurt.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Dear Mom and Dad
This is a message to my wonderful parents, because after only six weeks of being a mother myself I have a whole new appreciation for them and anyone else out there who is a mother or father.
Dear Mom and Dad,
If I take a moment to think of the hardest thing I have ever done it would probably be when I ran my first marathon when I had fallen behind on training. I couldn't move afterwards because I was hurting so much and my friend had to carry me to the car to drive me and Kalyn home. That isn't the hardest thing I have ever done anymore. Being a mom is. Don't get me wrong, I love it! Looking down at the tiny little guy in my arms makes me glow with pride because he is my son. However, when people told me that being a parent was hard it didn't exactly sink in. I was picturing the getting up at night, the messy house, the millions of diaper changes a day, the getting peed and thrown up on, and much more. What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional part of it. I have never been so exhausted in my life. I feel so lazy when my husband gets home from work and it is actually messier than when he left instead of cleaned up. When I change little Rex's diaper I sit back down with him and he immediately fills it back up. I have twice as much laundry to do because if the baby doesn't manage to get it messy then I spill all over myself and whatever I'm sitting on just so that I can get a few bites to eat. I have to do everything one handed now, and have never felt clumsier than I do now. When I go to the store everyone stares at me trying to calm my screaming baby who wants to be fed right NOW! I can't go anywhere at all without hauling a diaper bag and car seat and wiggly baby.
Through all of this though, I have also learned the meaning of service, because I have been on the receiving end a lot lately. The happiness I feel when I watch Rex learning to smile makes up for all the crying. I feel closer to my husband as we work as a team. And the craziness I go through everyday is teaching me patience and endurance. The more I go through with this little baby, the more grateful I am you two went through it for me. If you hadn't gotten up a thousand times in the middle of the night for us, hauled us back and forth every place you went, cleaned up after our messes, and still loved us, then I wouldn't have learned how to do that for my baby. So thank you for teaching me how to love a child. I love you so much and appreciate all you did when I didn't know how to do it for myself.
Love,
Ashley
Dear Mom and Dad,
If I take a moment to think of the hardest thing I have ever done it would probably be when I ran my first marathon when I had fallen behind on training. I couldn't move afterwards because I was hurting so much and my friend had to carry me to the car to drive me and Kalyn home. That isn't the hardest thing I have ever done anymore. Being a mom is. Don't get me wrong, I love it! Looking down at the tiny little guy in my arms makes me glow with pride because he is my son. However, when people told me that being a parent was hard it didn't exactly sink in. I was picturing the getting up at night, the messy house, the millions of diaper changes a day, the getting peed and thrown up on, and much more. What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional part of it. I have never been so exhausted in my life. I feel so lazy when my husband gets home from work and it is actually messier than when he left instead of cleaned up. When I change little Rex's diaper I sit back down with him and he immediately fills it back up. I have twice as much laundry to do because if the baby doesn't manage to get it messy then I spill all over myself and whatever I'm sitting on just so that I can get a few bites to eat. I have to do everything one handed now, and have never felt clumsier than I do now. When I go to the store everyone stares at me trying to calm my screaming baby who wants to be fed right NOW! I can't go anywhere at all without hauling a diaper bag and car seat and wiggly baby.
Through all of this though, I have also learned the meaning of service, because I have been on the receiving end a lot lately. The happiness I feel when I watch Rex learning to smile makes up for all the crying. I feel closer to my husband as we work as a team. And the craziness I go through everyday is teaching me patience and endurance. The more I go through with this little baby, the more grateful I am you two went through it for me. If you hadn't gotten up a thousand times in the middle of the night for us, hauled us back and forth every place you went, cleaned up after our messes, and still loved us, then I wouldn't have learned how to do that for my baby. So thank you for teaching me how to love a child. I love you so much and appreciate all you did when I didn't know how to do it for myself.
Love,
Ashley
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
The Scoop on Rex Walker
Hello friends! I am happy to say that on Monday, I delivered a healthy baby boy! I thought I would tell the story for those who are interested, but I warn you that this could be long. It is just a really big deal and it was an incredible experience for me. Anyone who has had a child or seen one born can relate. Here is the scoop:
On Sunday night I called my doctor to see if I was going to have an induction appointment for Monday or would have to wait until Tuesday. She said I was good to go for Monday at 7am, so Kalyn and I made sure to have everything packed and ready to go. We cleaned up the house and laid down for bed at a reasonable time since we would be up early for an exhausting day. We had no idea how early or how exhausting at the time, but it was a little hard to sleep. We were just too excited to finally have our little guy in our arms!
Just before 2:00 am I woke up to pee (a very common occurrence when pregnant), but when I laid down to go back to sleep I noticed that I was starting to feel like I had cramps. Not small ones either. I couldn't sleep through it. Then I realized they were coming and going in regular(ish) intervals every few minutes. I thought, "Holy cow! I think I'm going into labor!" but I waited an hour before waking Kalyn up, because doctors like you to have contractions for about that long before going to the hospital. When it became a little too painful for me I leaned over and kissed him on the check and asked, "Are you awake?" He woke up and I explained what was going on. He told me he thought that might happen. So up we got and headed to the hospital.
By the end of the half hour drive I was starting to feel a little sick. We had to enter the hospital through the ER, because the main entrance was closed at that time of night. The receptionists there checked me in. After a couple minutes of giving her my information, I told her I felt like I was going to throw up. It must have taken her less than 2 seconds to get a barf bag into my hands. I suppose if you worked in the ER you would have to have barf bags on hand all the time. She got me checked in while a nurse from labor and delivery came to get me.
I got changed into a hospital gown and tried to make myself comfortable until the anesthesiologist came to give me an epidural. I was already dilated to 3 cm. Kalyn and I noticed one of the charts that was posted on the wall. It had a bunch of circles labeled "1 cm, 2 cm, 4 cm, 6 cm, 8 cm, 10 cm." Every time a nurse came in to check how far I had dilated Kalyn pointed to a circle on the chart. Luckily I was numb from the waist down, so I wasn't cranky about it and could laugh instead. My contractions started slowing down a little bit again after I had the epidural, so I was given some Pitocin to speed them back up.
I was surprised how quickly the next few hours passed. A nurse came to check on me a little bit before 11 am and said, "Let's check how far you're dilated, just for fun. You probably haven't moved a lot yet." But to her surprise, I was already at 10 cm. She went to get the doctor. I was told to expect about an hour of pushing since it was my first baby, but I surprised them again. He was born about a half hour later. They lifted my newborn son onto my belly while they rubbed him clean and dry with towels. I remember trying to comprehend that this beautiful baby boy had just come out of me. He was mine. I touched his head and looked at Kalyn. I think we were both tearing up a little bit. I was able to hold him for a while before they took him across the room to weigh and measure him.
It wasn't until later that I found out that I had 3rd degree tearing. On the very last push I tor all the way from the vagina to the rectum. Even when the feeling came back to my legs (when the epidural started wearing off) I felt pretty good, so I told the nurse I wanted to wait on taking any strong pain medications. I stuck to only a large dose of ibuprofen.
The first time I got up to go to the bathroom, however, I was feeling pretty ill. The nurse helped me to the bathroom and told me to pull the red cord on the wall if I needed help. I think I was in there less than a minute before I started feeling like I was going to pass out. A mixture of all the blood in the toilet, the massive changes in hormones, and the exhaustion were getting to me. I was able, with help from Kalyn and a nurse, to get back into my bed, but I was shaking a lot. Let me just say, I should have taken the pain meds when they were offered. By the time it was the middle of that night, I couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain. With some prodding from Kalyn to do so, I finally asked for some pain medication. It took a long time to start working. Kalyn must have been exhausted, because he fell asleep quickly. I laid there for 45 minutes trying to sleep, but gave up. I reached over next to me and touched Kalyn's arm to wake him up. I asked him for a tissue, but the real reason I woke him up was because I was sobbing and needed a good cuddle to calm me down. He made me feel better a lot faster than the medication, because I was finally able to sleep.
The next few days were a blur of visiting family and friends who came to show us their love and support. We got to share with them our new little addition. We love him so much already and are so excited to raise him. God has trusted us with one of His children and I'm so happy about it!
On Sunday night I called my doctor to see if I was going to have an induction appointment for Monday or would have to wait until Tuesday. She said I was good to go for Monday at 7am, so Kalyn and I made sure to have everything packed and ready to go. We cleaned up the house and laid down for bed at a reasonable time since we would be up early for an exhausting day. We had no idea how early or how exhausting at the time, but it was a little hard to sleep. We were just too excited to finally have our little guy in our arms!
Just before 2:00 am I woke up to pee (a very common occurrence when pregnant), but when I laid down to go back to sleep I noticed that I was starting to feel like I had cramps. Not small ones either. I couldn't sleep through it. Then I realized they were coming and going in regular(ish) intervals every few minutes. I thought, "Holy cow! I think I'm going into labor!" but I waited an hour before waking Kalyn up, because doctors like you to have contractions for about that long before going to the hospital. When it became a little too painful for me I leaned over and kissed him on the check and asked, "Are you awake?" He woke up and I explained what was going on. He told me he thought that might happen. So up we got and headed to the hospital.
By the end of the half hour drive I was starting to feel a little sick. We had to enter the hospital through the ER, because the main entrance was closed at that time of night. The receptionists there checked me in. After a couple minutes of giving her my information, I told her I felt like I was going to throw up. It must have taken her less than 2 seconds to get a barf bag into my hands. I suppose if you worked in the ER you would have to have barf bags on hand all the time. She got me checked in while a nurse from labor and delivery came to get me.
I got changed into a hospital gown and tried to make myself comfortable until the anesthesiologist came to give me an epidural. I was already dilated to 3 cm. Kalyn and I noticed one of the charts that was posted on the wall. It had a bunch of circles labeled "1 cm, 2 cm, 4 cm, 6 cm, 8 cm, 10 cm." Every time a nurse came in to check how far I had dilated Kalyn pointed to a circle on the chart. Luckily I was numb from the waist down, so I wasn't cranky about it and could laugh instead. My contractions started slowing down a little bit again after I had the epidural, so I was given some Pitocin to speed them back up.
I was surprised how quickly the next few hours passed. A nurse came to check on me a little bit before 11 am and said, "Let's check how far you're dilated, just for fun. You probably haven't moved a lot yet." But to her surprise, I was already at 10 cm. She went to get the doctor. I was told to expect about an hour of pushing since it was my first baby, but I surprised them again. He was born about a half hour later. They lifted my newborn son onto my belly while they rubbed him clean and dry with towels. I remember trying to comprehend that this beautiful baby boy had just come out of me. He was mine. I touched his head and looked at Kalyn. I think we were both tearing up a little bit. I was able to hold him for a while before they took him across the room to weigh and measure him.
It wasn't until later that I found out that I had 3rd degree tearing. On the very last push I tor all the way from the vagina to the rectum. Even when the feeling came back to my legs (when the epidural started wearing off) I felt pretty good, so I told the nurse I wanted to wait on taking any strong pain medications. I stuck to only a large dose of ibuprofen.
The first time I got up to go to the bathroom, however, I was feeling pretty ill. The nurse helped me to the bathroom and told me to pull the red cord on the wall if I needed help. I think I was in there less than a minute before I started feeling like I was going to pass out. A mixture of all the blood in the toilet, the massive changes in hormones, and the exhaustion were getting to me. I was able, with help from Kalyn and a nurse, to get back into my bed, but I was shaking a lot. Let me just say, I should have taken the pain meds when they were offered. By the time it was the middle of that night, I couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain. With some prodding from Kalyn to do so, I finally asked for some pain medication. It took a long time to start working. Kalyn must have been exhausted, because he fell asleep quickly. I laid there for 45 minutes trying to sleep, but gave up. I reached over next to me and touched Kalyn's arm to wake him up. I asked him for a tissue, but the real reason I woke him up was because I was sobbing and needed a good cuddle to calm me down. He made me feel better a lot faster than the medication, because I was finally able to sleep.
The next few days were a blur of visiting family and friends who came to show us their love and support. We got to share with them our new little addition. We love him so much already and are so excited to raise him. God has trusted us with one of His children and I'm so happy about it!
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Pregnancy Updates: Now 6 Days Late
I remember visiting my cousin several weeks ago and me and Kalyn pointed out to her that if our baby came one day late his birthday would be exactly between our birthdays. She told him not to wish that on me, because I would really be ready to be done with being pregnant by then and a day late would be like torture. Well, here I am six days past due. Tomorrow will mark a full week, and I know exactly what she means now. The other day when my husband was leaving for work I looked at him and he stopped for a second, because he saw that I had that look in my eyes. The one that is really easy to hide from anyone else that I am holding back tears. He picks up on it pretty quickly though, so he asked how I was doing and then it sort of started spilling over. I told him I was just tired of being pregnant. He understood, because he has been there with me the whole time and knows how uncomfortable I've been. I think he felt bad having to leave for work right then when I was sad like that.
Luckily, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday morning to get some tests done on our little guy to see how he was doing. They did an ultrasound to check the fluid level in the uterus first, because low fluid can mean that it's becoming a less ideal environment for him in there. The ultrasound tech made an estimate on the baby's weight, but before telling me the weight she said, "Well, these things aren't necessarily accurate. I think this is off, because there is no way you have an 8-pound baby in there!" This was a reference to how small I still look at past 40 weeks of pregnancy (although I feel huge and have stretch marks, so any bigger would possibly kill me).
After the ultrasound I got hooked up to two monitors to do a fetal stress test. For anyone who doesn't know how that works, I got put in a recliner chair with my feet up (cozy!) with one monitor strapped to my belly to keep track of the baby's heart rate. A second one is strapped to the top of my belly to keep track of contractions. I was given a button on a wire that I was supposed to click every time I felt the baby move. Of course, after all the jabbing and shifting that he was doing while I was in the waiting room, he took this very moment to take a nap. After ten minutes of the test, a nurse came in and put a device on my belly that vibrates hard and made him jump pretty violently against the other side of me. He definitely woke up and moved for me after that. He passed the tests with flying colors, and everything was going perfectly with him so far. That brought me a lot of relief, but also made me wonder if they would make me wait longer before inducing me.
I had nothing to worry about. They decided that I was safe waiting through the weekend since he wasn't distressed at all, but said they would put me on a waiting list for Monday and if nothing opened up I would have an appointment for Tuesday. This meant one thing to me: if I'm not in labor on my own by Tuesday, I will be put into labor anyways. Therefore, I have an end in sight! I could have cried I was so happy. Having an exact day in mind as the end helps my emotional state so much. I think of it the way I though of a cross country race. When I was in cross country I knew where the finish line was, so when the end was coming I could push a little harder. Now, that I see the end of the pregnancy I can feel peaceful and just enjoy the time I have to sit, read, watch a movie, and go get Italian ice with my husband.
Luckily, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday morning to get some tests done on our little guy to see how he was doing. They did an ultrasound to check the fluid level in the uterus first, because low fluid can mean that it's becoming a less ideal environment for him in there. The ultrasound tech made an estimate on the baby's weight, but before telling me the weight she said, "Well, these things aren't necessarily accurate. I think this is off, because there is no way you have an 8-pound baby in there!" This was a reference to how small I still look at past 40 weeks of pregnancy (although I feel huge and have stretch marks, so any bigger would possibly kill me).
After the ultrasound I got hooked up to two monitors to do a fetal stress test. For anyone who doesn't know how that works, I got put in a recliner chair with my feet up (cozy!) with one monitor strapped to my belly to keep track of the baby's heart rate. A second one is strapped to the top of my belly to keep track of contractions. I was given a button on a wire that I was supposed to click every time I felt the baby move. Of course, after all the jabbing and shifting that he was doing while I was in the waiting room, he took this very moment to take a nap. After ten minutes of the test, a nurse came in and put a device on my belly that vibrates hard and made him jump pretty violently against the other side of me. He definitely woke up and moved for me after that. He passed the tests with flying colors, and everything was going perfectly with him so far. That brought me a lot of relief, but also made me wonder if they would make me wait longer before inducing me.
I had nothing to worry about. They decided that I was safe waiting through the weekend since he wasn't distressed at all, but said they would put me on a waiting list for Monday and if nothing opened up I would have an appointment for Tuesday. This meant one thing to me: if I'm not in labor on my own by Tuesday, I will be put into labor anyways. Therefore, I have an end in sight! I could have cried I was so happy. Having an exact day in mind as the end helps my emotional state so much. I think of it the way I though of a cross country race. When I was in cross country I knew where the finish line was, so when the end was coming I could push a little harder. Now, that I see the end of the pregnancy I can feel peaceful and just enjoy the time I have to sit, read, watch a movie, and go get Italian ice with my husband.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Patience Lessons
Well, I am due to have a baby today, and so far nothing has happened except for a little nausea this morning that I haven't been able to shake. It's at the point where everyone that knows me asks me, "What are you doing here?" when I show up to anything, because they know I should be in the hospital. My husband tried leaning down and having a talk with my belly last night that went something like, "Baby, why don't you just come out already?" I hope I am not one of those women who goes two weeks past their due date. How do people live with that much anticipation?! I guess we will find out if Kalyn's little "talk" with our little guy sunk in at all if I go into labor today.
I guess it comes down to God's timing, not ours. It's one of those little tests of patience I am being given. I remember a time when I was asked to speak in church in my home ward on patience, and about a month or two later when I went back to school I was asked to speak in church on the same topic again in that ward too. I ad one of those moments where I had a talk with God saying, "I am sorry, Lord. I must be getting into some very impatient habits, and I will try to do better." I must be needing that humbling message again. I definitely am being reminded that the Lord's timing is not my own. Besides, what difference does it make if I have him today or in a week? That will give me more time to get the apartment cleaned up, and a few more days to spend quietly with my wonderful husband.
I guess it comes down to God's timing, not ours. It's one of those little tests of patience I am being given. I remember a time when I was asked to speak in church in my home ward on patience, and about a month or two later when I went back to school I was asked to speak in church on the same topic again in that ward too. I ad one of those moments where I had a talk with God saying, "I am sorry, Lord. I must be getting into some very impatient habits, and I will try to do better." I must be needing that humbling message again. I definitely am being reminded that the Lord's timing is not my own. Besides, what difference does it make if I have him today or in a week? That will give me more time to get the apartment cleaned up, and a few more days to spend quietly with my wonderful husband.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Mushy (Future) Mommy Stuff
I am so excited to have this little guy out of my womb and into my arms. I spend a lot of time daydreaming about being able to bend over again, buckle my own sandals, lay on my tummy, take a nap and wake up energized (at least for a little while), take my sweet baby on walks, and many more things. Don't get me wrong, I know babies are a lot of hard work too. I do foresee many house chores being left undone for a little too long, interrupted sleep patterns, lugging around a bag stuffed full of things Baby needs, my body doing really weird (and disgusting) things, and more to go along with it. I feel sure that if I have a sense of humor about all the gross things though, I'll be okay. I am 38 weeks and 4 days along right now. I'm starting to get those comments from people that go something like, "You're still here?" All i can say is, "Tell me about it!" I wouldn't mind finishing out this week at work though. My supervisor finally caught up to me in my hiding spot at work and put me into enrollments training (I work at a call center). I need to spend ten hours training before I can be let out of the practice zone (we call it "the nest") and am able to sit back with my team again. It would be nice to finish training. I don't want to start over again!
I suppose that when it comes down to it, it isn't up to me when I go into labor. These are some of the ways that being pregnant has prepared me for motherhood:
1. I have been pregnant for what feels like so long that I don't feel any fear of labor pains, because I want him to be on my outside and not my inside so badly now.
2. I have learned that sometimes I just don't have the energy to do the dishes, hang up the laundry, clean/dust/vacuum the entire apartment, organize the cupboards, and dust. In fact a lot of times I don't have energy to do one or two of those things, and that's okay. My husband doesn't think I am a horrible wife if I don't have dinner cooked and fresh out of the oven every time he gets home from work. He understands that I am exhausted. I imagine I will have similar feelings of guilt at not getting everything done when I am taking care of a new baby, who will demand most of my time and energy.
3. I've learned that I cannot fix every character flaw of mine and become the future "perfect" mother in the last nine months, and I probably never will be a perfect mother, but with a lot of help from other mothers, my husband, and especially God, I can be the best mother that I can be.
4. It's okay to cry. When I was growing up I rarely cried. With pure will-power I could keep tears from flowing at any time or place. Then I went to college and something snapped in me that made tears a lot harder to hold back. I've had a lot of practice just letting the dam break since becoming pregnant. I had already become more sensitive, but hormones sure do help it become slightly more public than I would like. I have found that crying actually makes me feel a lot better though. If I let it out it's like the stress is literally flowing out of me. Then I wipe my "stress" onto a tissue and throw it away.
5. Let's address body image for a second. I know I have been really lucky. I have had very little swelling, most of my weight gain has been in the belly where baby is living, and I really have not been very sick since my first trimester. However, my body has definitely changed. I have spent much of the last several years as an athlete. I'm used to having a lean, thin, and overall pretty muscular body. It's been really tough dealing with how weak I feel all the time. I hate the ugly stretch marks I have been rubbing lotion all over every day so they will fade faster. I hate how my buns and thighs get that "cottage cheese" look when I am in certain positions because my muscle has gone all soft and squishy. I really hate how my skin has erupted in blemishes too. I definitely remember my skin getting much less zitty when the weather warms up and the sun comes out in past years. Not this time.
However, I can get past all of these things because I am successfully carrying my son. I love him with all of my heart even though I have never even laid eyes on his face. Whenever I feel him move I am filled with joy, because he is alive and one little jab closer to delivery day. Besides, when he is in my arms I will be jabbing him back all the time. I don't know how I'll be able to stop touching his tiny hands and feet or stroking his cheeks when he's born! Let's just say, I am about to be the happiest woman in the world.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Never Been So Tired in my Life
Today has been one of those pregnant roller coasters. I think I might be getting sick, but if not then I still feel really ill. My legs ache my head, nose, and throat feel weird. Plus I am super tired (even more than usual). I tried to give myself a pep talk earlier that didn't work out so well. If someone listened to my thoughts they probably would have sounded something like this:
"Don't worry, girl, you've only got about 8 weeks left until you have a baby and start feeling a little better. Well, actually only like 7 and a half. Hey, 6 weeks at most if he comes a little early. That's only between like 42-53 more days! Unless you are overdue. Then it could be like 10 weeks. Then you'll feel like this for ten whole weeks. Crap. I can't do it that long. I feel like I'm dying. TeN mOrE wEeKs?!?! Ahhhh!!!"
Let's just say the pep talk wasn't working out so well. I just have to settle with not thinking about how much I have left to go and focus on resting my tired body. I think I will go take a bath now.
"Don't worry, girl, you've only got about 8 weeks left until you have a baby and start feeling a little better. Well, actually only like 7 and a half. Hey, 6 weeks at most if he comes a little early. That's only between like 42-53 more days! Unless you are overdue. Then it could be like 10 weeks. Then you'll feel like this for ten whole weeks. Crap. I can't do it that long. I feel like I'm dying. TeN mOrE wEeKs?!?! Ahhhh!!!"
Let's just say the pep talk wasn't working out so well. I just have to settle with not thinking about how much I have left to go and focus on resting my tired body. I think I will go take a bath now.
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