Dear Mom and Dad

This is a message to my wonderful parents, because after only six weeks of being a mother myself I have a whole new appreciation for them and anyone else out there who is a mother or father.

Dear Mom and Dad,
If I take a moment to think of the hardest thing I have ever done it would probably be when I ran my first marathon when I had fallen behind on training.  I couldn't move afterwards because I was hurting so much and my friend had to carry me to the car to drive me and Kalyn home.  That isn't the hardest thing I have ever done anymore.  Being a mom is.  Don't get me wrong, I love it! Looking down at the tiny little guy in my arms makes me glow with pride because he is my son.  However, when people told me that being a parent was hard it didn't exactly sink in.  I was picturing the getting up at night, the messy house, the millions of diaper changes a day, the getting peed and thrown up on, and much more.  What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional part of it.  I have never been so exhausted in my life.  I feel so lazy when my husband gets home from work and it is actually messier than when he left instead of cleaned up.  When I change little Rex's diaper I sit back down with him and he immediately fills it back up.  I have twice as much laundry to do because if the baby doesn't manage to get it messy then I spill all over myself and whatever I'm sitting on just so that I can get a few bites to eat.  I have to do everything one handed now, and have never felt clumsier than I do now.  When I go to the store everyone stares at me trying to calm my screaming baby who wants to be fed right NOW!  I can't go anywhere at all without hauling a diaper bag and car seat and wiggly baby.

Through all of this though, I have also learned the meaning of service, because I have been on the receiving end a lot lately.  The happiness I feel when I watch Rex learning to smile makes up for all the crying.  I feel closer to my husband as we work as a team.  And the craziness I go through everyday is teaching me patience and endurance.  The more I go through with this little baby, the more grateful I am you two went through it for me.  If you hadn't gotten up a thousand times in the middle of the night for us, hauled us back and forth every place you went, cleaned up after our messes, and still loved us, then I wouldn't have learned how to do that for my baby.  So thank you for teaching me how to love a child.  I love you so much and appreciate all you did when I didn't know how to do it for myself.

Love,
Ashley