My First Mommy Terror

I had my first moment of absolute terror as a mother tonight.  It had been one of those days where I felt really exhausted and wanted to sleep desperately, but the baby won't fall asleep.  I was hungry, because I had been trying to coax him to sleep for about two hours.  Finally, I laid down next to him on the couch, nursing him until he was asleep.  I got up and left him there while I stuck the now-very-crispy-and-dried-out toast in the microwave.  I figured if I toasted it for the third time it wouldn't be edible anymore.  Just as I opened the microwave to take it back out, I heard a little "thunk!"  I turned to the source of the noise and saw my little boy (previously on the couch) on the floor.  He had landed on top of our laptop.  It took about two seconds for me to run and grab him off the floor.  When I picked him up his face was frozen in a yelling expression.  There was no noise coming out, but his face had turned bright red.  His whole body seemed frozen and ridged.  I was freaking out.  I pulled him close to me and finally there was noise, but it didn't help me feel any better, because it was the worst sound I've ever heard.  It was real screaming.  Not the "I'm hungry/poopy/want to be held" scream.  I paced back and forth for a few minutes trying to calm him down and when I finally pulled him away from me I saw a snotty, tear-smeared, drooly face that had left it's mark all over my shirt.  It didn't take long for me to be distracted from this though as he had a mark on his forhead where he must have bumped it on the computer.  I can't even describe how horrible I felt.  When Kalyn came home from work about a half hour later I still felt so bad that when he looked in my face he could tell I was upset.  I started crying and scooted close to him on the couch.  That's when he saw our little guy's first wound.  "What happened to his head?" I told him what happened and was given a few sweet words about how no harm was done, the baby was okay, and he wouldn't hate me.  I still feel horrible, but I know he's right too.  I suppose a lot of moms freak out like that when their babies get hurt.  I'm sure I'll have to get used to kissing boo-boos since I have a little boy.  I just have to learn to not cry every time he gets hurt.