Homework of An English Major

I just finished reading the longest story of my life--or rather... listening to it.  I am in three English classes right now and all of them are 300-level classes.  I think it's safe to say that I have a whole lot of reading to do.  On of my teachers told the class about a website called "Librivox.org" where you can listen to any story that is not copyrighted (I believe that's anything written before 1914) as an MP3.  You cannot imagine my joy at this when I looked at the reading for my other American Lit class.  It was a 45-page long story, and this is certainly not Children's Literature class anymore.  There were small print, small margins and not a single picture.  Luckily I was able to listen to the story off of the internet while following along every once in a while.  For a time I got up and made caramel popcorn in order to cheer up my soul as much as is possible while listening to a story about a woman who was captured by Indians and watched their brutality towards many other captives.  After about two and a half hours and the reassurance that the woman survived and was happy again, I felt satisfied and calm.  Then I realized I still have three more classes to do homework for, plus a presentation to prepare in the next two days.  It is so good to be back in school keeping my brain busy!

Unhappy? Go Back To High School

Oh college... What a blessing it is to be here starting classes again after my brain getting filled with mush over the summer break! I mean that too.  Mushy brains make me feel unproductive, tired, and lazy.  One of my Facebook friends posted a picture today that said, "Homework: because 7 hours of class wasn't enough!"  Well, with that attitude of course you need homework, because you probably were so busy grumbling during class that you didn't learn anything.  Didn't we graduate high school and move on to a higher education for a reason?  I am amazed at how much people complain about classes when they are paying several thousand dollars or more per semester of school.  I don't know about the rest of the college student population, but I think I'll get the most I can for my money.  On that note, I am staring at my open 1,500-page book instead of reading it for class tomorrow (don't have a heart attack, I don't have to read it all by tomorrow)... Have a great, non-complaining, non-foot-dragging, happy, happy day!

P.S.  I apologize for not writing for a few weeks.  I assure you I had good reason!  I got married, went on a honeymoon with the love of my life, and was busy moving into a new apartment and getting ready for school to start.  I will be more diligent now :)

Robots

I don't know how many people have seen the movie "iRobot," but just in case you haven't here is a short overview of the plot:  It's about a robot that is created that is sort of an intelligence to all other robots.  The robots are used to serve humans and were designed to protect us.  However, the robot intelligence evolves and starts creating robots that go so far in wanting to protect humans that they want to lock them all up and completely control them.  They do this with violence if necessary.  I liked the movie and even have speculated on whether or not technology will one day rule the way it did in the movie.  After today I feel completely at peace about it though.  I called two different businesses that both answered me with a machine and a menu.  The bank had the "smartest" machine voice.  In this one it asks you to speak into the phone and tell you what you want.  Pretty incredible!  This allows people to check their account without even talking to a real person. Great, right? Not!  I spent 15 minutes trying to figure out the right words to get the robot to understand that I wanted to talk to a person about my account.  I told it I had questions, that I wanted to talk to a person, and that I was tired of listening to its robotic, confused voice.  Finally I called my mom to ask her how to get past the machine.  When she answered I almost shouted, "Holy goodness!  It is so good to hear the voice of a real person again!"  However, I contained myself.  She told me that if you keep saying "customer service" it will eventually lead you to the operator.  How helpful real people can be.  I love that when talking to a real person they have the ability to understand what you are saying and give you the correct information to fix your problem.  I was feeling even more happy about talking to real people when I got a hold of an operator who kindly answered all my questions that I could never have learned the answers to from a robot.  I don't think robots have come to a point where they can take over the world quite yet, so don't be worrying about iRobot coming true.

The Longest Two Weeks of My Life

Have you ever noticed that when you are waiting for something, time slows down like someone hitting the water in a belly flop? It's just as painful to wait as it is to hit the water too.  I would take the few minutes of red, burning skin and wind knocked out of me if this next two weeks would fly by a little faster.  I am getting married a week from Saturday, and I'm telling you the clocks have physically slowed down and they are laughing in my face as they do it.  Earlier today someone left one minute and 59 seconds on the microwave.  I walked into the kitchen and my heart gave a leap.

 "It's already two o'clock!" I gasped, so relieved that time was speeding up today.  My roommate, Vanessa, looked over at the clock.

 "I guess so!"

I ran to go take a shower and get myself clean and ready, because I was getting bridals done at 6:30.  It was only after I got out of the shower and looked at my phone that I realized what time it was.  I read, "12:57."  Crap.  It was all a lie.  It has always been a peeve of mine when people leave time on the microwave.  I felt so cheated.  When I came back into the living room Vanessa said, "Hey it's actually only 1:00.  I looked back at the clock and wondered why it had been 1:59 for the past ten minutes!"  My fiance is always trying to convince me that inanimate objects can't be 'out to get me' because they are only objects and have no minds of their own.  This mean trick from the microwave does not have me convinced though.  Do you see what such slow time is doing to my brain?  I am imagining microwaves being purposely malicious.  Once the wedding is over and time speeds up again maybe objects won't be out to get me anymore... maybe.

Prayers

Not everyone believes in prayer  Not everyone who believes in prayer has the same belief about it either.  Some people think that God hears your prayers.  Some think that prayer is strictly traditional.  Think of all the different ways people pray.  Sometimes they are memorized prayers, but other times they are less structured.  Personally, I believe that God not only hears every prayer but he also answers them.  For at least the last two or three weeks I have been agonizing over something that would possibly lead to the loss of a friendship.  Because of how I am, I can not simply act on anger or hurt without thinking it through first to make sure I am doing the right thing.  However, in my case this time, the more I thought about my dilemma, the more confused and hurt I became.  I was soon to a point of feeling incredibly tied up and could  not come to any right decision.  There was only one thing left I could think of to do to fix the pain inside of me that was getting worse by the day.  That night when I got on my knees to pray to my God I poured out my heart to him.  I explained that I was feeling a lot of pain and could no longer control it.  I told Him about how helpless I felt in my situation.  I told him that this could potentially make my wedding day less special than it should be, and I wanted to be absolutely, ridiculously happy on that day.  I explained how much weight I felt pressing on me.  Finally, I asked if He could take my burden away.  I do not do this very often.  I feel like trials make you stronger and can lead to happiness, but this one was too much for me at this time.  He knew it too, because the next morning when I woke up I felt utterly weightless.  I was relaxed and happy.  I literally felt like two big hands had previously been squeezing my lungs and overnight had disappeared.  To some people that small thing would not convince them that God is real and cares deeply about them, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that God loves me and still performs miracles for us when we need it.  He cares about tiny problems just as much as big ones.  You do not need to wait until you are in deep problems to pray to your God.  He will listen to even the smallest query if it means a lot to you.  No one else knows your heart better than He does, so he will always do what is best for you.  This week I experienced a tiny miracle that made me feel such powerful love from God.  If no one else in the world loves me, I know my God still will.

So You Think You're Poor, Huh?

I often hear the phrase, "I am a poor, college student," while I am on campus (or for that matter, even off campus).  Then that same person pulls out their new ipad or iphone for class.  Am I wrong for raising my eyebrows at this?  There are people in other countries living off $2 a day on average, or less.  Not that you have to be to that point in order to be poor.  I have felt poor before, but that's because I had $20 left in my account and about three weeks left in the semester with no job.  I felt justified in saying I was poor at that time.  I even feel justified in saying I'll be poor at least for the first few years of being married, because it's very likely my husband and I both will be working two jobs and need financial aid in order to support us through school.  I feel rich at the same time though, because there are things that are more like treasure than money.  Marrying the love of my life will make me feel richer.  Having a wonderful family and in-laws will make me feel richer.  Sitting down to dinner with my husband-- even in our very busy lives-- every day will make me feel happy, and rich.

I certainly feel irritated though when a kid who has their college tuition paid for, has a decent car, has an ipad or iphone, has a sturdy roof over their head, and still has money left over to buy a bunch of frozen dinners and fast food on a daily basis is complaining about being poor.  How about just saying, "I sure am grateful for all that I have."  It really isn't hard.  Try telling people who stand on a corner or dig through trash for food that you are poor. That would be a laugh!

Cheering Yourself Up

Have you ever noticed that almost every joke we tell involves making fun of someone, someone getting hurt really bad, or even someone dying?  If most of these things were to happen to us in real life or to a person close to us it wouldn't be even a little funny.  It would probably make us feel angry, hurt, or possibly bring us to tears.  And yet, we manage to take the most horrible things and make them funny.  Here is a blonde joke as an example: 

How do you kill a blonde?

You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

Horrible right? No! It's actually kind of hilarious.  So I figured why not use this theory on real life?  I have been feeling extremely conflicted about a situation that has come up in my life and for the life of me could not find anything about it funny.  Then at the same time as thinking about my conflict, a random thought popped into my head that was absolutely hilarious.  I laughed out loud as I was walking up to my apartment.  It was the weirdest thing I have felt in my entire life.  Complete despair evenly mixed with insane hilarity.  I think I stopped breathing for a minute because of it.  I decided then that that is how some people can be so optimistic all the time.  When they are bummed about something they twist it so it doesn't sound as bad as it is.  If they twist it enough or see it with a different perspective I'll bet they could even find a horrible situation funny.  Maybe this thing I'm struggling with will not be as bad as I thought.  Who knows, it might turn out worse than I thought, but when it's over I can find something else to laugh about later to cheer me up.