Have you ever noticed that when you are waiting for something, time slows down like someone hitting the water in a belly flop? It's just as painful to wait as it is to hit the water too. I would take the few minutes of red, burning skin and wind knocked out of me if this next two weeks would fly by a little faster. I am getting married a week from Saturday, and I'm telling you the clocks have physically slowed down and they are laughing in my face as they do it. Earlier today someone left one minute and 59 seconds on the microwave. I walked into the kitchen and my heart gave a leap.
"It's already two o'clock!" I gasped, so relieved that time was speeding up today. My roommate, Vanessa, looked over at the clock.
"I guess so!"
I ran to go take a shower and get myself clean and ready, because I was getting bridals done at 6:30. It was only after I got out of the shower and looked at my phone that I realized what time it was. I read, "12:57." Crap. It was all a lie. It has always been a peeve of mine when people leave time on the microwave. I felt so cheated. When I came back into the living room Vanessa said, "Hey it's actually only 1:00. I looked back at the clock and wondered why it had been 1:59 for the past ten minutes!" My fiance is always trying to convince me that inanimate objects can't be 'out to get me' because they are only objects and have no minds of their own. This mean trick from the microwave does not have me convinced though. Do you see what such slow time is doing to my brain? I am imagining microwaves being purposely malicious. Once the wedding is over and time speeds up again maybe objects won't be out to get me anymore... maybe.
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