New Year's Resolutions

I never really believed in setting New Years Resolutions.  There shouldn't be one time when you set goals.  You should set them all year round.  However, this year feels different to me, maybe because we moved, or because there are so many things I want to overcome.  Whatever the reason is, this year feels like a clean slate.  Here are the things I want to improve:

1. I want to get back into shape.  Someone told me as a joke the other day that after you have a baby you are in shape, just a different one than before.  True.  But that's no excuse for me.  I have run a marathon.  I used to be able to consistently run a mile under 7 minutes.  I once got my mile time down to 6:20.  That would be unheard of now.  I'm not saying I want to run that fast again (though that would be awesome).  I just want to be able to run a 10k without walking.  It will take time, but hey, I have a year.  Preferably I would like to be able to do this by my birthday in July though.

2. I am going to start a business.  I have wanted to start selling my art for a while now.  I recall thinking that I could have an online store up and running by this time LAST year.  However, I chickened out and made excuses about not feeling well from being pregnant.  Now I have a baby, so finding time will be even harder, but I am making time.  I'll have the store up by the end of the month (as to give me time to make some more things to post) and if it's in our budget this Summer I would love to go to some craft fairs and sell art.

3.  I'm going back on my gluten-free diet.  I feel horrible.  I'm constantly bloated, I'm exhausted, my anxiety levels have gone through the roof, my skin is so dry and itchy that my lips look like I have cold sores surrounding them, and I keep getting sick.  This year I'm going back on my diet the way I did it before: save the gluten foods for times when I go out to dinner or ward activities that don't have anything I can't eat.  Otherwise, no cheating.

These are my three main goals, but they all are related.  I want to learn to control my environment.  Fear of inadequacy rules my life.  I never feel like I am good enough.  I will never let anything or anyone make me feel otherwise again.  It's a waste of time trying to please everyone else, so I'm going to work on these three things to push me out of my comfort zone.  If I can control what is going on inside of me I will be able to control how I react to things that happen in my life in this time of big changes and challenges.  Happy New Year to everyone and I hope we all improve together!

Our Experience Eating Out

Last night Kalyn and I were starving after going to the gym so we decided to go out to dinner.  It's been a long time since we've been on a date.  Although we were bringing our little guy with us, we still consider it a date.  This is the story of why you should get a babysitter when you want to go on a date.

We arrive at Applebee's and Rex is calm as can be.  I just fed him before we left, but we were silly to think he didn't know when his bedtime was (even after the daily fight to actually go to sleep at 8). We were seated and Rex began to fuss before we even got our appetizer.  I was starting to think we might not make it.  I took him to the restroom where I was relieved to find that after two days of not pooping (we just started him on solids) he finally had.

A diaper change only calmed him for about 3 seconds after I sat down.  I had to hold him while I ate.  He was momentarily distracted by the baby girl at the next table over.  This gave me time to get at least half my food down before I heard the noise that no parent wants to hear during a dinner out: a poop bomb exploding out of their child's bum.  It didn't stop there.  He kept going every 30 seconds or so for the next couple minutes.  A wet spot was appearing on his back.

Now we knew we had to get out of there, because he can't stand being wet for more than a minute.  We asked for some boxes for the rest of our food and the check.  While we were waiting Rex decided to yell to the whole restaurant about who-knows-what.  He has just discovered recently that he can use vocals and I think he likes hearing himself talk.  He was yelling the only word he knows: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa... aaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaa."

Putting him back in his car seat made him scream and that's when I felt like everyone around us was staring with that look of "control your child."  I have a feeling that he is going to embarrass me very often, but at the same time it will be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.  He'll make me laugh.  He sure is developing some personality.

Monsters in My Room Last Night

Last night Rex finally slept for more than 3 hours at a time.  Instead of waking up at midnight with that feeling that it was going to be another long night of frequent wake-ups I blessedly got to sleep until 2am.  This being said, I actually fell into a deep sleep for a while.  At 2:01am I woke in a pitch black room to the sound of sucking.  My first thought was, "Oh my gosh! There is a monster in my room and it is taking a taste of my baby!"  However, sense returned to me as I woke up a little more and realized that Rex was simply awake, sucking very enthusiastically on his fist.  Hoping he would roll over and go back to sleep, but knowing he probably would just wake me up pretty soon, I drifted back to sleep.

At 2:05am I was startled awake again by another frightening sound.  "Oh my heck! There is a pterodactyl in my room!" Oh wait... it was just the baby again.  When he is happy he makes this squealing noise that sounds an awful lot like a hungry dinosaur.  With heavy eyelids I again decided to fall asleep, even though I knew that noise meant the little guy was fully awake.  

Again, at 2:07am, I woke to a little baby whimper.  It was the quiet cry that is a warning before he decides I need a little more prompting to get out of bed and go get him.  The one before he yells.  Finally, I left my bed and walked over to Rex's crib.  In the dark I saw a wad of blankets and baby in the corner, but couldn't tell where his head was, so I felt around.  Somehow he had gone from the middle of the crib to the corner with his feet in the corner.  His butt was almost all the way into the corner as well, with his legs sticking up above him.  He was wiggling around, trying to escape.  Luckily I was there to rescue him, and with a feeding and some cuddles we both fell right back to sleep.

My Health Experiment

I mentioned in the post before this that I just experienced my second UTI in a row.  It also happens to be the second one I've ever had n my life.  So why would I suddenly get two back to back?  Well I would love to tell you, but I'm not a doctor and there are so many reasons that could happen and so many ways you can get one that there isn't really a way of knowing for sure.  However, after feeling a second one coming on I decided to do some research, because although a 7-day course of antibiotics seemed to zap the infection pretty quickly the first time, I wondered if it really went away entirely or if I had an altogether new infection.  I already knew the basics of how antibiotics work.  They kill bacteria causing the infection.  My research brought me to many opinions of people who believe that antibiotics aren't necessarily good for you, because while killing the "bad" bacteria in your body it also can kill the "good" bacteria.  Having lower amounts of bacteria your body depends on for a time after taking antibiotics can actually weaken your system's defenses against getting another infection.  

Of course there is research both for and against this theory, so who knows whether it's true or not.  Again, I am no doctor.  I did think that it was worth a try to take probiotics instead though. Probiotics do exactly the opposite of antibiotics (if you didn't already work that out for yourself).  They increase the amounts of "good" bacteria because they are made from live cultures that can help fight off an infection.  You can buy probiotics at most health stores.  I happen to work for a wellness company that sells probiotics.  Lucky me, because they can be kind of expensive.

I made a deal with myself that if the infection didn't clear out within a couple of days or got rapidly worse than I would go to the doctor.  The first infection I got had been so bad that I was peeing blood, so I knew this time it had some time to go before reaching that point.  After two days of taking the probiotics and drinking mass amounts of water I hadn't improved or gotten worse.  I thought about going to the doctor, but then realized that I had let my couple days go into the weekend.  My doctor's office was closed.  Oops!  Since it wasn't worse I decided to stick the weekend out.  But guess what! By Monday I was actually feeling better.  It took until today for me to feel like it was completely healed, but it worked out.  

So my conclusion to this little experiment is that antibiotics seem to work much faster, but the probiotics worked too.  Certainly if I got a bad infection I would go to a doctor, but there are ways to take care of ourselves from home too.  It's important to use good judgement.  I have often had the mindset that I can't afford going to the doctor much.  It's expensive sometimes!  However, I have also learned that no matter how much anxiety it causes me to go, there are times when it is important to see a professional.  For example if you are bleeding badly and need to get stitched up, break a bone, are so sick that you can't heal on your own, or in some cases when you have a feeling that something is very wrong.  Follow your instincts.  

My mom worked in a profession for several years that teaches people to have an awareness of their body.  Did you know that just by slowing down and paying close attention to how you feel on a regular basis you can heal yourself?  The reason for that being that you can feel when something you do feels better or worse.  Plus, you learn to use your body more efficiently.  This can keep you healthier and help you to know when something feels really different.  My challenge to you is to take just a little time each day to be aware of how you are feeling; physically and mentally.  The more you pay attention, the easier it will get to solve problems, because you won't spend as much time trying to figure out the source. 

My Health Goals

I am currently enjoying my second UTI (urinary tract infection) in a row. What a joy! It takes something as natural and ordinary as peeing and turns it into something you dread because it's painful.  On top of that, it makes you have to pee about twenty times more often than usual and much more difficult to hold it in.  Sorry if this is too much information, but just imagine going throughout your daily activities and having to take a break every half hour at a minimum to go pee.  Yeah... not the most efficient of time for me.  However I have to marvel a little at how the body knows how to heal itself.  My body senses the infection and turns my bladder into overdrive to get it out.  It's like getting a high fever to kill a virus or getting a scab to protect the new skin that is forming underneath it.  Our bodies are miracles!

This is why I am amazed that so many people (myself included at times) put take this gift from God and abuse it so horribly.  Some go as far as using drugs that research has proven can cause severe brain damage with a single use. My weakness is sugar-loading.  I have a sweet tooth that can be compared to the hulk.  One of my goals, as I mentioned in the post before this is to cut down on my sugar intake.  The difference between this time and other tries is that I actually told people that I was doing it.  That way my people-pleasing self kicks in when I am eyeing that dessert and want it so badly, and I can't take it because people would know I am failing at my diet already.

I am having some success so far though! My rules are that I can't have any dessert except for one a week only IF there is some sort of occasion such as a party, dinner with friends, etc.  If there are two occasions I can only have dessert at one.  No candy or anything related to it (like fruit snacks or things made of pure sugar) are allowed either.  My diet is going until Christmas.  By then the sugar cravings should have depleted severely and that is my goal for when to get back to almost my pre-pregnancy weight again.  After only a week and a half of cutting back junk food I have lost almost 3 pounds. Hooray!

Of course diet must come with exercise.  I have very low amount of physical endurance right now. I think less than I have ever had in my entire life, which frustrates me very much most of the time.  So most days I just go on a walk.  This week I hope to add some strength training into it too so that when I run it won't feel as horrible.

Seven more weeks of this to go! I know I can do it, but it sure isn't easy.  I have to lose almost two pounds a week and my goal will be met. I can't wait to fit into my pants and skirts again.

Reaching My Goals

One thing that really makes me sad is when mothers decide their life is over when they have children.  Granted, it sure does change your life, but it certainly doesn't end it.  I often hear people say, "I didn't like doing any of the things I did before anyways.  I'm glad to give it all up for my child," or something to that effect.  Please know that having a baby does not mean you have to give up the things you love! When Rex was first born I had to feed him at least once every hour, because (as the pediatrician told me) some kids are just eaters.  I had one of them.  I thought many times to myself that I would never be able to do anything if half of every hour out of the day was spent feeding this child.  He is just over three months old now and I am starting to feel much better about the situation.  Sometimes he takes three hour naps or just stays content on the floor watching my cook for a while.  He doesn't cry every time I put him in his car seat and he loves going on walks or runs in his stroller with me.  I'm discovering that I can still have a life!

My goals are to conquer my bad eating habits by learning self control, start my online business finally, exercise daily so that my body gets back into shape, and keep the house cleaner.  I've been able to work on all of this and although right now it's a little overwhelming and requires me to step out of my comfort zone in many ways, I am starting to feel better physically and emotionally.  I want to feel accomplished.  Being a mother can do that, but if I don't know how to do these things for myself how can I teach my children to do the same.

The best way to teach is by example.  I have always pictured my kids as healthy, active, and happy children.  If I want them to do that, I have to show them how.  This is what I plan on doing.

Me and Kalyn went to Utah this weekend to visit family.  My brother-in-law offered me a piece of candy and I told him no thanks, because I was on a low-sugar diet.  He thought I was kidding.  I have to admit, it sounds a little bit weird for me to be the type of person to go on a diet, but I want to be healthy and have the energy to chase Rex around when he starts crawling and walking.  I know I can reach my goals and am excited to finally set my mind to something and do it.

Does Nobody Read Anymore?

Let's face it. Everyone has pet peeves; those things that really irritate you.  Some people hate the sound of fingernails scratching a hard surface, or people who don't make eye contact, or elbows on the table, or people reading over their shoulder. Personally I think it's gross to leave the toilet seat up.  Particularly when both seats are up. Who wants to look at that anyways?

Today I want to discuss how irritating it is that nobody reads anymore.  This leads to more work for everyone.  Remember those people you hate working with because they always did a slop-job the first time they did anything so you or someone else had to redo it later? I've met some people like that lately simply because they don't read.  For example:

The other day I saw an ad my friend had posted on a Facebook group that is used as an online "garage sale."  It had a picture of a leather jacket with a caption that went something like, "large authentic leather jacket, $40."  The first comment on the photo read, "Size? price?" followed by another one that said, "ditto" to the person above.  Duh people! Did you not read the very clear caption above the picture?!

Just a couple days later I posted  on the school ride board saying that we were driving down to Provo and had one or two extra seats if anyone wanted to join.  They would just have to pay $20 in gas each way and we were leaving Friday after my husband got off of work.   The first response back to the post was a text with the questions, "is it $20 round trip?" and "Are you leaving Thursday evening?"  I wanted to respond to the person, "Dear human, You do have eyes right?  You must since you read my phone number off the ride board. So use them to read the ENTIRE THING!"

It's a waste of time for everyone when you have to repeat every piece of information just because people don't want to read your entire ad.  I really hope our generation has not really become that lazy or confused.  I hope that both of those people were up all  night studying or taking care of a baby and their vision has blurred from exhaustion and their brain is mixing up everything they see.  Otherwise they really just were too lazy to read one or two sentences of simple English, and that terrifies me for the sake of our country.