So, I realize it has been a very long time since I have written in this blog, and most of the reason is because I have been keeping a secret. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am horrible at keeping secrets when it is my own to tell. So this is a post meant to fill in the stories of the last couple of months that have kept my mind very occupied. You see, my husband and I are expecting a baby this July! And, let me tell you (especially if you have never been pregnant before), pregnancy fills your whole brain, kicking out many other things in life. It doesn't happen on purpose, and I expect it differs between people. However in my case it has been hard to focus on things such as school, or work, or writing in a blog when your mind is filled with a constant stream of thoughts such as, "Don't throw up, don't throw up, don't throw up," or "Every smell around me is disgusting and it is making me want to throw up," or "I feel extremely weird right now and part of me wants to cry, but I'm not really sure why." Have you ever heard of that show, "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant?" Well, I have no idea how you can miss it. Strange things happen to you when those extra hormones get pumped into your system. Here are a few stories from the beginning of my pregnancy:
My first lesson about morning sickness is that in my case it lasted not just in the morning. It was morning, afternoon, evening, night sickness. Basically I always felt horrible. By now I have learned that when you are morning sick you absolutely cannot treat the nausea the way you treat stomach flu. And by this I mean you need to keep eating and drinking. No matter how horrible you feel. The first few weeks of pregnancy I felt nothing worse than a little queasiness. However, around the end of week six I started feeling worse. Of course the natural instinct of anyone when they feel like they are going to throw up is to wait for their stomach to calm down before eating anything. However, after a couple days of eating very little and drinking much less than I should I woke up one morning around 5 am and started throwing up. After the fourth or fifth time in about three hours I started to feel worried. I was seriously afraid that I was killing the baby inside of me. Around noon I had stopped throwing up, but still felt so sick and was in so much pain I felt like I was literally dying. I asked my husband to take me to the doctor. I will add that I had to be feeling pretty bad to ask for a doctor, since I get horrible anxiety at doctors offices. We arrived at the ER where they pumped me with fluids and Zofran (a pregnancy-safe drug for nausea). When I left I was given a prescription for more Zofran and am happy to say that I need it rarely anymore, although I needed it almost every day at that time just to get food in me. I have lost about 7 pounds since becoming pregnant and only gained back two.
Another story for you: I went to my sister's wedding in Utah where my husband and I stayed a couple nights with my brother and sister-in-law. Kalyn and I had to sleep on a twin-sized air mattress, because that was all my parents had available to us at the time. After one squished night on that thing, Kalyn suggested we sleep on the couch instead. I decided we should stay on the mattress, because a couch is not much bigger. This was a lucky thing, because around 4 am, I woke up for soon-to-be-explained reasons. Kalyn was stirring and I was feeling very cold. The more conscious I became, the more I realized that the reason I was cold was that I was also wet. I reached my hand down and felt my pants. They were wet. I could smell the urine. "Kalyn, I'm wet," I said, because I had no idea what else to say. "Yeah, I noticed that," he replied. He never once made me feel embarrassed. He simply got up with me and helped me clean everything up. I was worried that I was losing bladder control at 8 weeks, but luckily it hasn't happened again.
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